In 1994 I gave birth to my son at home. It was not an easy decision to make but once made I felt so much more in charge of my pregnancy, as well as a greater sense of responsibility - to my baby, my partner, my midwife and myself.  So many of us believe that we have to hand over responsibility to the "experts", who are often most concerned with what might go wrong - hence the tests, the warnings, the precautions. It is up to every woman to decide how much of this she wants - in my case the hospital I was attending thought I should be induced immediately when my blood pressure rose at the end of my pregnancy. Hours of tests showed the baby was fine, I felt quite OK, but I was being pressured to let them "get the baby out now". With the support and intervention of my midwife, I was able to seek a second opinion from a private obstetrician.

Out of the hospital environment, my blood pressure dropped considerably. From the obstetrician, my midwife, partner and some loving friends I was given the best advice possible - rest, rest, rest, visualise an easy, flowing birth, communicate with your baby, prepare yourself mentally. Something that just was not available at the hospital. For 2 days I shut out the world, relaxed, floated in the bath and focused on my baby. On Wednesday night I went to bed at 10.30pm and woke in labour at 12.30am. I was expecting to go to hospital because my blood pressure remained quite high, but I knew I could at least labour at home.  My partner and I were happy and relaxed, the contractions were strong, but not unbearable. I spent most of the time on my hands and knees, with James applying hot towels to my lower back - blissful relief! We had candles burning and music softly playing. I seemed to know exactly what I wanted and James would get it without question. Everything was going comfortably and smoothly, I felt very much in control and in touch, and though unsure about what to expect when - we were settled in for the night.

We rang the midwife when I had a show - the mucus plug came out. She listened to a contraction and decided that I was well into labour and she would come over. On her advice I got into the bath, where the contractions had a lovely, flowing, open quality to them. I stayed there until Annie arrived. She helped me out and first checked my blood pressure, which was OK, and then my dilation, having warned me that if it was under 5cm we would look at transferring to hospital. I remember feeling very safe in her hands and prepared for any outcome. As it turned out I was 9cm dilated and about to have the baby. Annie kept me very grounded and guided me expertly through the birth. My waters hadn't broken but appeared in a big bubble which she lanced.

From then on it became very intense; I remember Annie getting me into a squatting position and telling me to start pushing when I was ready. The baby came out, to my surprise, a few minutes later  in a rush onto the floor. My hands flew to my head (I've got the pictures) and my first words were "Oh my God he's beautiful!". He had been cushioned by the water all the way down the birth canal, and looked round and perfect. Annie had set up the oxygen, as there had been meconium in the water, but he instantly started yelling, which was the best thing, of course, to clear his little lungs. It was 4.24am.