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One of the greatest
lessons about parenting was dealt to me two months BEFORE the birth
of my first child. I had it all so well planned, I was going to have
this wonderful, natural, active, labor and I was going to be totally
in control. I had read all the books and that was it.
However at
thirty-two weeks an Ultrasound discovered that not only was my
placenta lying very low but there was also a condition called Vasa
Praevia – which basically meant that a major blood vessel was
blocking the cervix. There was no choice; it was potentially fatal
for the baby and very risky for me so a caesarean was booked. I
cried for about a week! Then slowly the realisation came that the
most important thing out of all of this was to have a healthy baby.
The caesarean
section went very well. As we had time to prepare ourselves for it,
it was a beautiful experience. The only pain I felt was the needle
prick of the epidural block. I was wheeled into the delivery room to
encounter a very jovial team of doctors who were quick to notice
that they needed to keep an eye on my husband Paul who was just
itching to touch everything. They placed a screen up so that I
couldn’t see what was happening but Paul chose to have a good look
at everything. Then a few minutes later I was cuddling my beautiful
baby Tessa who came into the world perfect in every way. We were
able to cuddle Tessa while they stitched me up; this took about half
an hour. Then it was off to recovery.
What a lesson I had
learnt, and I guess it was one that was going to be essential as a
parent. Be flexible – set yourself goals and be informed but
children are so unpredictable. I was so happy to learn the “go with
the flow” lesson so early on. I also felt I needed to stand on the
roof tops and shout to every expectant mum to be prepared for any
outcome – I couldn’t help thinking how shocking it would have been
for me if I had an emergency caesarean (as so many women do).
Two years later I
fell pregnant again and this time prepared myself for just that. All
the doctors considered me a “high risk” patient but I searched
around to find one who would be supportive of at least trying to
have a natural delivery. I am very fortunate that my sister is a
midwife and she was my pillar of strength. She helped me prepare and
offered to be my Doula at the birth. The pregnancy went well and the
ultrasound showed that everything was looking good so we booked into
the hospital and prepared our list of essentials to help make the
labor a pleasant experience.
My waters started to
leak the day before my due date so my doctor suggested I go in to
the hospital. Everyone expected the labor to start soon so we sat
and waited. My sister organized babysitting for her three children,
loaded her basket full of CDs, flowers, essential oils, and so on
and came in. After hours of little activity they sent us all home
again. My husband Paul and I went to stay at my mum’s house for the
night as she was doing a wonderful job looking after my two year old
daughter, who at this stage was trying to work out what all the fuss
was about.
I started having
contractions during the night but the next morning they were still
very erratic so Paul decided to go in to work for the morning. By
lunchtime things were happening quite fast so Mum started calling in
the support team. I wanted to wait until the last minute after
messing everyone around the day before but Mum was of the opinion
that the last minute was approaching fast and could we all please
get going!! She was right. We set off for the hospital at 2.30pm and
Tessa’s baby sister was born just before 4pm! No time for getting in
the bath, or listening to music or sucking on barley sugar. I am
happy to say that everything went incredibly smoothly and I was able
to experience the natural, active birth I had always wanted. The
doctor even stood back and let my sister deliver her little niece
into the world, an experience we all still rejoice in today. Paul
was actually speechless for once as he took part in this little
miracle. It was a truly wonderful birth. I was in a bit of shock
afterwards as it all happened so fast but I was amazed at how great
I felt.
People have often
asked me which type of birth I would choose after experiencing both
– a caesarean which involved very little pain or a natural birth
where I could feel everything. I am always very quick to reply a
natural birth if it is possible. It is an incredibly empowering
experience and the recovery time is so much better. But I always
remember to tell people to prepare for all outcomes because birthing
and children are so often unpredictable. That’s life and that’s
okay!
I would always
encourage a natural birth over a Caesarean if at all possible. Some
of the things they don’t tell you about is that when you have a
caesarean you can’t breastfeed your baby until all the stitching is
finished, as feeding causes the uterus to contract. This means that
the initial bonding with your baby is delayed and that can be quite
significant. They will also usually take your baby away while you
are in recovery, so for the first few hours of your baby’s life they
are taken from you. All the reading I have done in recent years
really makes me question the impact this can have. It took a good
week or two to get the breastfeeding happening after the caesarean,
but then this was my first attempt at breastfeeding. I have often
wondered why breastfeeding wasn’t more instinctive, why I had to
learn how to do it. A lot of women have said the same thing to me.
Was it partly due to the delay in the first feed?
See these two
excellent articles for more information about breastfeeding in the
first hour of your baby’s life:
Breastfeeding - a baby's choice
Reclaiming the Lost Art of Breastfeeding
After my natural
birth my baby came out and went straight to the breast and instantly
started sucking. She was always a good feeder.
The other thing I
should mention is that the recovery time after a caesarean is at
least six weeks, after all it is a major operation.
I am very
grateful for modern technology, as I probably would have died in
childbirth a hundred years ago due to vasa praevia. When necessary,
caesarean birth is a saviour. The disadvantages become insignificant
if it means you or your baby’s health are in danger. For our family
it means that we have two healthy wonderful children and I look back
on my birth experiences with gratitude and awe. However if you have
the choice there are so many benefits to having a natural birth.
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