What is it about pain that scares us so much? Why is it that so many women feel they can’t have a natural childbirth because of the PAIN?

Pain hurts! We are no longer confident that we have the emotional and physical resources to cope with pain and we feel out of our depth when discussing it.

The word pain is so powerful, that for a long time antenatal teachers refused to mention the word and women went into labour ignorant of the fact that labour would be more than just a twinge.

The one thing that we do know, is that labour pain won’t kill us. I often talk about labour as though it is a marathon race. It has a beginning, a middle and an end. Like marathon runners, women need to be prepared for the emotional and physical energy that will take over their bodies in labour. Unlike marathon runners we go into labour ill-prepared and like an unprepared athlete, the end of the race is a difficult attainment without outside help.

Is there anything wrong with accepting help? No, of course not. The only problem with the help available is that it interferes with the physiological functioning of the body and gets in the way of natural childbirth.

Why is natural childbirth so important? Because an un-drugged mother means an un-drugged baby and an un-drugged baby is a much healthier baby and isn’t that what we are all wanting?

So, where does that leave us?

If we compare labour to a marathon race or mountain climbing, then we can see that a lot of preparation needs to be done. I think that most women prepare themselves quite well physically with walking, swimming, yoga etc. but not many see that the mental preparation is vitally important too. No athlete in her right mind would go into a race, without having done a lot of emotional preparation. When watching athletes at the starting line we can see them running the race in their minds, psyching themselves for the test ahead of them. They know that only they can win this by themselves. They "see" themselves crossing the finish line. The athlete that "sees" herself running last will indeed run last!

Women are usually coached by people around them and even their caregivers, to believe that they are not strong enough to give birth without drugs or even a caesarean section. For the whole time they are pregnant there is a negative focus on pain. They are almost brainwashed to believe that they are not able to give birth without obstetric intervention and epidural anaesthetic. If an athletic coach prepared her athletes like that she would be laughed out of the game!

So, what to do?

There are lots of suggestions from renowned writers. One of my favourites is Julia Sundin and her book "Face to Face with Childbirth". Julia says that women can try to lose a little of the need to control, the need to perform and the need to be perfect. To let go of the control demands openness and acceptance, expressing physical and emotional pain rather than suppressing it. "Letting go" doesn’t mean a loss of choice or power and it doesn’t mean chaos reigns. Julia recommends preparation for childbirth which opens up the self-image and develops confidence and courage, using visualisation and scenarios of labour, focussing on the feelings and bodily sensations. Is the woman moving closer to it or deliberately moving away? Encourage her to let go of the ‘doing’ and simply ‘be’ with the body sensations. Allow each woman to instinctively follow her own preferred way of reacting to pain. Let go of the image of perfection and release the inhibitions, deal with the pain and change the belief system with information about a new found internal focus of strength. Julia says that in this way women can discover their own ground and allow the pain to run it’s own course, do it’s own thing and lead the way.

Marianne Weston suggests that the test of birth is similar to the initiation rites that young men in some cultures have to endure to become adults. "They challenge the wilderness, overcome all manner of trials and tests and in some instances physical mutilation, so that they can say "Look, I am strong, I can suffer, I am proud of what I did to get here". She asks why shouldn’t women be allowed to face a test of endurance during labour? Maybe birth is a womanly and personal way of proving that we are also strong, courageous, willing to suffer and survive and full of endless resources that will continue to help us through life. Marianne says that the things we have slaved, sweated and laboured to obtain are usually the things that we value most. We begin our journey into parenthood with a feeling of pride, of having passed a difficult test which allows us the opportunity to share our strength and knowledge with our children as they grow.

Some of my own thoughts about the length of labour and pain, have to do with giving birth as being a ‘passage of life’ event. The journey from the state of being a child of a mother to being the mother of a child, is momentous. We come an incredibly long way in the journey of life when we give birth. Some women are further along this journey than others, some of us work through it during pregnancy, some have more to do during labour and some of us have still more to do in the weeks and months after our baby’s birth.

There are numerous passages in books and articles with different approaches to dealing with labour pain. Contact a midwife or resource centre to either borrow the books or sit and read the many articles dealing with the subject. Decide for yourself the way that will liberate your fear of pain.