For women, giving birth is a major sexual event, as we open ourselves on
all levels to create the physical and spiritual passage from the womb into
the world.  It is as if we had been turned inside-out and all of our soft
vulnerable parts were on the surface. 

In this wide open state, messages  we receive from our environment,
penetrate deeply into our beings.  In the imprinting stakes, birthing a
baby rates alongside our own birth and first sexual experience.  Our
experience of giving birth, whether traumatic or empowering, can
significantly colour our future relationships with self, children and
partner.  

The miraculous opening of birth is made possible by an intricate interplay
of hormones, emotions and physical mechanics.   It is governed by
instinctive survival responses inherited from our mammalian ancestors. These are triggered by our physical environment and the emotional atmosphere which others create around us.

These survival responses are strongly influenced by our own past
experiences, our attitudes and beliefs.  Memories of sexual trauma, stirred up by the intense sexual opening, can slow down or stall the birth process just as effectively as bright lights, hospital odours or insensitive remarks.

Fortunately for us, most babies take nine to ten months to grow before they are ready to burst into our lives.   We can choose to use the period of pregnancy to educate ourselves about birth and parenthood. 

When we become 'birth wise', we are able to use our thinking minds and
creativity to work with the instinctive wisdom of our bodies.  We can make
informed decisions about where to give birth and who to have around us.  We can take positive steps to address our fears.  We can consciously create a network of practical and emotional support around us.

There are many resources available to us in this work of preparation -
books, antenatal classes, other people's stories.  During pregnancy the rising endorphin levels induce a semi-permanent 'altered state of
consciousness'. With this in mind, it pays to be selective about what we
take in.  We need to ask - "Is the underlying message here empowering for me as a woman and mother, for us as a family?  does it fit with my core
values and beliefs?" 

The transition into parenthood affects the whole of us, including our
emotional, sexual and spiritual lives.   So it seems logical to seek ways
of preparing ourselves which go beyond the physical mechanics of birth and baby-care.  There are some support groups and classes which address this need, it's a question of seeking them out.  [NB. Look out for forthcoming Birthplace Community Childbirth Education programme!]

For those who prefer a process of private reflection,  the books Creating a Joyful Birth Experience by L Capacchione & S Bardsley [Simon & Schuster, 1994] and Pregnant Feelings by R Baldwin & TP Richardson [Celestial Arts, 1986] offer some interesting suggestions.

In all of our preparing, we must not forget that birth, being a natural
force, is not bound by any of our plans and intentions.  However many books
we read, however many classes we attend or women's circles we share in,
there will still be something which catches us unawares. 

At the end of the day, the true measure of our preparations is not so much what actually happened, but how prepared we were to learn and grow from the experience.