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Confessions of a child entering school for the
first time who according to adults “has nothing to worry about."
My name is Donald and I don’t know anything.
I have new underwear, a new sweater, a loose tooth,
and I didn’t sleep last night. I am worried.
What if the school bus jerks after I get on and I
lose my balance and my pants rip and everyone laughs?
What if I have to go to the bathroom before we get
to school?
What if the bell rings and everyone goes into a
door and a man yells, “Where do you belong?” and I don’t know?
What if my shoelace comes untied and someone says,
“Your shoelace is untied. We’ll all watch while you tie it”?
What if the trays in the cafeteria are too tall for
me to reach?
What if the thermos lid on my soup is on too tight
and when I try to open it, it breaks?
What if my loose tooth wants to come out when
we’re supposed to have our heads down and be quiet?
What if teacher tells the class to go to the
bathroom and I can’t go?
What if I want to take my sweater off and someone
steals it?
What if I splash water on my name tag and my name
disappears and no-one will know who I am?
What if they send me out to play and all the swings
are taken? What do I do?
What if the wind blows all the important papers out
of my hands that I am supposed to be taking home?
What if they say my last name wrong and everyone
laughs?
What if my teacher doesn’t make her D’s like
mom taught me?
What if I spend a whole day without a friend?
What if the teacher gives a seat to everyone and I
am left over?
What if the windows of the bus steam up and I
won’t be able to tell when I get to my stop?
I’m just a little kid but maybe I am smarter than
I think I am. At least I know better than to tell a five year old
with a loose tooth who has never been out of the yard by himself
before that he has “nothing to worry about.”
From a newspaper clipping that was often passed
around the teachers at the beginning of the school year.
Source: News Herald, Panama City, Florida.
Thursday August 2,1984.
Columnist Erma Bombeck
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