For many years, Birthdays in our house were very simple, simple, simple.  Especially for my first daughter, Alicia.  We invited one friend and her parent or parents and Alicia’s dearly beloved Grandma who she called Gramma who lived “down the road and around the corner”.  For Alicia this was enough and for me I was more than pleased that this could be enough.  We always had a birthday cake (which was either chocolate or ice-cream, and as sugary food was rarely seen in our house this was a huge treat) and very simple party food. 

Anticipation of her Birthday was big for Alicia.  The anticipation of a friend coming, the anticipation that it was HER birthday, HER day and that the events of HER day would be different to every other day.  For many weeks this anticipation was enjoyed as much as the actual Birthday.  We had a blowing of the candles ceremony, and opened presents after breakfast. 

Alicia thought that her birthday was “the cake ceremony”, not the whole day.  On her Birthday she would ask “When is my Birthday, Mum?” and when I answered “It’s today” that didn’t compute with her.  “No, MUM, exactly when?” “It’s right now love”. 

“No its not, when IS IT?”  Eventually the penny dropped, when she said “When do we have THE CAKE?”  For her the birthday was the cake, the candles and the singing of Happy Birthday. No fussing, no organizing, no crowds, no extra cleaning of the house, no preparing for days, no party games, no take home bags, no outdoing other people’s parties.  That was it, that was all that was needed and she was a real happy vegemite … needless to say, so was I. 

We always planned the Cake Event for the morning.  People would say to us “isn’t this too early in the day for a party?”  Let me assure you, it is never too early in the day for a party and for a child to have to wait and wait after all the anticipation that has been experienced the waiting for a party to start can overshadow the fun and excitement of it all.  Especially for children who are very young.  Plus, I got to have plenty of time to relax afterwards with her together and enjoy the new toys and to talk about and experience the pleasure of the events of the day.  Reliving of a fun morning, talking about it over and over again, can fill in the afternoon and rest of the day right up to bedtime. 

Alicia never knew parties could be a big event with lots of games, people, hoo haa until she was quite a bit older. 

When we had these small event birthdays, we had less hassles, less upsets and more enjoyment.  The smaller things gave the most pleasure and were way less stressful. 

One year, in the early days of larger parties we had a party at a shop that did fairy parties.  We had the minimum amount of children, ten, plus a few mums and dads.  Most of the activities were rushed and in a cramped space and not much party food was eaten.  Accidents happened, tears appeared over misunderstandings, the cake was not the one Alicia had seen arrive whilst she was waiting for the party to start.  Upsetting words were said between children and every child but one had an upset.

On the way home, Alicia burst into tears, again.  She had received a lot of presents but nothing she could actually “play” with, and because of the structure of the party she was not able to unwrap the presents in front of the children who gave them to her.  After the expense of the day, the organizing, the extra travel, she would have been happier with a few special friends at home, a cake ceremony and just one toy she could play with.  We have never had large parties since and we have never had a hugely structured party since and we have never gone to the trouble of an “at a venue” event.   And we always unwrap the presents all at once after everyone has arrived.   

We sit in a circle and birthday presents are passed to Alicia, one at a time, so she knows who gave her what and they are unwrapped in front of everyone.  This is a huge success, as everyone gets to see who gave what and every present is goo gaaed over by everyone, and the present giver is thanked and gets as much as a thrill as the present receiver.  This present opening ceremony is the first thing we do and starts off all our parties. 

One of our best, more simpler, more easier Birthdays, when Alicia was older was soon after we moved from the city.  We were renting a “beach house”.  We invited one friend from the city and one new friend from the country.  They both stayed for most of the day.  It was more of a “visit all day” party.  Yes, we had a cake, a small amount of party food and yes, Alicia felt Birthday Queen for the Day.  She had the whole day to play with her new friend and to enjoy her friend from the city whom she hadn’t seen for a while.   

We also included a really pleasant walk along the beach, which was “down the road and around the corner” from where we now lived and which for Alicia was the best part of the day and the event that she had anticipated the most.  Her Birthday was easy, simple, stress free and enjoyed by her new country friend, her city friend and her city friend’s family. 

The next year we had moved again and were renting a “Farm House”.  This home was on a sheep farm, with large rooms and sheep in the back yard.  At this party we introduced a few party games, threw a frisbee around the back yard  - which was really a back paddock and chased the sheep!  This party was a huge success too.  Guests were more than happy to travel the extra distance to the farm, and the mums sat on the back verandah and watched the hills in the distance, breathed in the fresh air and watched what it is that sheep do. 

All in all there is a lead up to birthdays.  The planning of the day, the deciding who will be invited, what we will eat and most important what sort of Cake shall we have.  But there is one thing that I do the night before a birthday.   

I tell my daughters the story of their birth.  As much of it as I possibly can remember. And they are in awe of how they were born.  Because really that is their true Birthday.  The Day They Were Born. 

With Alicia, I tell her how I worked right up to the day before she was born.  I tell her how I worked in a house with three stories where I was climbing up and down stairs all day.  How at the end of the day, I just fitted behind the steering wheel of my small green Mazda 121 and as I was driving home my mantra was “please, please wait until I get home, please, please wait until I get home!!!”  (She loves to hear this, and I quite like telling this bit….) 

I was a good week overdue and I was really worried contractions would start (and as she was my first not knowing what sort of pain to expect) on the busy major highway getting me home.  Her dad and I had joked that the next day was our only free day and that was the day she was going to be born. 

When I had gone to pre-natal classes one of the things I had learnt was that giving birth is like running in a marathon and to eat marathon type food in the early stages of labor.  Well, when I got home it was about 7.00pm or 8.00 p.m. the first thing I said was “I think I’ll make a big bowl of pasta and cheese, love”, to my husband, watching the footy, whose face probably didn’t leave the screen, “and then I think I’ll go to bed!” 

Well, I did that and climbed into bed and BINGO in the early hours of the morning obvious contractions woke me up and about 12 hours later Alicia was born, at 6.23 p.m. on the 23^rd of the 6^th month.  Catchy numbers!  When I tell her this story I go into more details of what happened getting to the hospital, at the hospital, how Robert read newspapers until the last minute, told me to push and takes all the credit for the birth, and how adorable she was after she had pushed herself out. 

I do this every year before her birthday and embellish different parts, answer her questions and this definitely increases the bond between us.    I do this too for my second daughter, Katrina-Lee and her story is quite different as she was born in a rush, very quickly and in what seemed to be one very long contraction of about three hours.  I tell her quite humorously that her dad hadn’t worked out that she was coming so quickly, dropped me off in the car park to walk into the hospital and up stairs to check myself in whilst he “parked the car” and a mum who had given birth the previous day watched me and told me later she thought the baby was coming there and then.  It nearly did!  It was very soon after that that Katrina-Lee pushed herself  out just as Robert planned to have an eight hour nap.  He thought all babies would be the same!!!!! 

My girls love this part of their Birthday and sometimes ask me to tell them their Birthday Story when it is not their birthday just to hear the wonder of it all. 

So, if you want simple, easy, enjoy birthdays here are some ideas 

Step By Step 

1. Particularly when your child is young, one or two invited guests plus their parents can be enough for a party, and or beloved relatives.

2. Anticipation and reliving the event can be enjoyed over many days and weeks.

3. A Cake and Candle Ceremony may be all that’s needed.

4. Do not hesitate to have your child’s party in the morning.  Waiting and waiting  whilst young can spoil the day.

5. At birthday parties have the party guests and Birthday child sit in a circle. Have
    the guests hand their presents to the Birthday child one at a time to be opened by the Birthday child so everyone can see what has been given so that the giver is fussed over as well as the receiver.  This can be a great way to start the party.

6. Even when your child is older, smaller and little effort can still work.  i.e. a walk on the beach or a trip to a special playground with just one or two guests, or even going to a movie.

7. Tell your child the story of The Day or Night You Were Born. 

           This article was written by Margaret Saunders at Fresh Waves For Families, and How To Get Your Child To Beg to Go To Bed.
If you would like more ideas on how to make your life and that of your child’s
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