Sex
and Sandwiches
Time For Sex
This
lively, fun talk features in our Sex and Sandwiches working mothers lunches
in Sydney, Melbourne and Canberra and our national tour events in Adelaide,
Perth and Brisbane. Catch the full, hysterical session then (see dates
below). In the meantime, here are a few highlights.
Some Startling Stats
What
is the current state of our sexual health? If you believe the statistics,
our sexual health is in poor shape. The most wide-ranging study of sexual
practices in the US, published in the Journal of the American Medical
Association, found that 43 percent of women were suffering from Female
Sexual Dysfunction. But are all these women—almost half the
population—actually suffering from a disorder or are many suffering from
unrealistic expectations fuelled to a large extent by the media and
society’s current attitudes to sex?
The
other day, our MotherInc medico Dr Penny Adams went for a quick browse in
the local newsagent. There was hardly a magazine in the women’s section
that didn’t have something about sex on its front cover. Here are some of
her favourites:
"Sex
– from Dud to Stud"
"Sex addicts cured by marrying each other"
"How to cope with a kinky boyfriend"
"Bonk or boyfriend. How to tell which one HE wants to be"
"7 All New types of Orgasm revealed"
"How to be a total legend in bed"
"Our guide to his astrobonk balance"
"I can orgasm just by thinking"
"Dick tricks – meet the man who is paid to play with his penis."
Good
sex, Dr Penny assures us, relies on a good relationship—and understanding
the natural stages a relationship goes through. We progress from limerance,
the euphoric stage in a relationship that sends intoxicating
neurotransmitters cavorting around our body, to the more realistic real love
stage that sparks the release of nature’s softer chemicals, calming,
satisfying endorphins. Of course, there’s far more than mere biology
involved in sustaining a long and satisfying love life. But you’ll have to
see what Dr Penny has in her box of sex tricks…
Sexual Experiment
In
the interests of our talk, SBS presenter Rebecca Le Torneau conducted a
little experiment. She attempted to have sex eight times in one day. Not
eight sexual experiences—just eight
attempts.
Attempt
number one: Wake-up. 5.30am trying to pull a sneaky on baby who wakes at
six…. Husband desperate for sex decides that he is more desperate for
lie-in.
Finally
husband rouses, so to speak at 5.47. 5.49 baby cries 5.50 mother cries 6.am
second child wakes, 6.01 Weeties all round.
7.30:
Teletubbies on, peace reigns. Husband catches eye and wink towards bedroom,
mummy ponders state of dressing gown, covered in vegemite, and smell of
body, discount unattractive state and sneak towards bedroom behind
children's backs, Noo Noo makes
suggestive noises to Po, (but maybe
that's just my perspective at the time…)
7.32:
Mummy hot, sweaty and almost very happy.
7.34:
loud and urgent request at door for Mummy to wipe Melody's poo, off the wall
downstairs, mood broken… condom packet intact.
Attempt
number three 8am: Mummy in
shower, but willing to desecrate sacred spot for a satisfying quickie.
Children given Tim Tams and Sesame
Street for breakfast 'dessert', and daddy joins mummy…. daddy grabs
Barbie bath gel and pours on mummy for erotic effect…. Mummy steps back on
plastic Poohbear bathtoy and slips arse over tit and bruises ego along with
bottom…. Sexual attempt number three abandoned….
After
work the attempts became more desperate, increasingly exhausting, and
consistently thwarted. Finally, after Melody's third bottle at 2am we
achieved lift-off, or shut down more like…. anyway, as my husband said at
the time…. at least we've done it….. what an achievement.
Daily Devotion
If
you don’t have time for the full five-course meal, try this appetiser, a
“daily devotion” suggested by Diane Riley, author of Sexual
Secrets for Men, lecturer and presenter of Sacred Sex workshops. This
is not meant to be a prelude to sex but a way of staying connected sexually
and emotionally. Use the exercise as an addition to sex.
·
Find
five minutes morning or evening when you won’t be interrupted.
·
Engage
in a sexual embrace—missionary position often works well.
·
Hold
together with little or no movement for five minutes. Just hold and melt
into each other.
This
allows for the emotional connection that women so often need and gives you
regular, loving time together.
Diane
Riley, Sexual Secrets for Men,
$19.95. Diane also has a range of video and audio tapes and a workshop
calendar. Contact her through Love Works, (02) 9974 4724, loveworks@ozemail.com.au;
website: www.sacredsexoz.com
MAKE A DATE
Sydney:
September 28, Sex and Sandwiches in the City, Regent Hotel, 12.30-2pm, $25 +
GST
Melbourne:
September 21, Sex and Sandwiches in the City, Savoy Park Plaza, 12.30-2pm,
$15 + GST
Canberra:
September 25, Crowne Plaza Conference Centre, 12.30-2pm, $15 + GST
Perth,
Adelaide, and Brisbane had their date earlier this month.
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